The Doors

I saw the doors of that temple open. God seemed to be beaming at me and inviting me in with arms wide open. But, the doors of my mind which led to faith, in God and temples, had closed forever; the day they threw us out of our own home. To build those same doors of the temple, which were open. I couldn't help but think that this temple stood on the grave of my home, of my memories. Yes. For me, it was a cemetery. Those walls that had witnessed my memories of growing up in that home, the happy times our family had , the grief and sadness we had been through together had been brought down. With that ,had crashingly come down my faith and my love for God. They tore our home apart brick by brick. But in doing so, they tore me and my memories connected with those each brick. Because each of them had their own story to tell about me. I had grown up with them. Now, I had witnessed their death.

Time

Clock is ticking
With its dials clicking
As I trip down the memory lane
Days, weeks and years seem to be flicking.

Now
When I look back at those good,old days
The prose of life by time's quill
I wish, I could go back,
And stayed there till.
For there're times in our life
We wish, time should've stayed still.
Each of its moments we would have replayed,
If it was in our will...

Wish I could feel those hugs again
Those thousand kisses on my face
That resurgence of tears 
Those touches that made me daze...

Those fights with dear ones
The sound we did, while we sloshed
Those tears,smiles and food we shared together
The moments that brought us close
Getting angry with mom
Over an sour, unwanted medicine's dose
The way we faked our anger for that
The way we closed our room's door.

Those pangs, that failed me to dust
Now,they seem like a withered city
Past on the way of my life...
Their weils distantly echoing through air,
Piercing it like a knife.
But I've no time to turn back,
As there is no time for pity.

Whatever I wish or think now,
Past,now,is just a story.
You may reread ,remember,drink,cherish,
But never relive it,in present's glory.

So, I feel that I must stop wishing
For the time to stop.
As it will one day,for us.
For everyone.
But,till then:
Let the time flow,by its own free will,
We have ours to enjoy,be happy and chill!

The Dragon Carcass

Had varieties of dreams today. I saw myself crying on the grave of a saint,which was in a busy street of Istanbul. It was visible,only when the floor was warm; when people walked more on that particular spot. That floor had his fresco. The face was like that of Jesus. Then: the dream changed suddenly.

He and I were disposing a dragon carcass lying in front of our home. We raced back to home,to see who reaches the flagpole of the stadium behind our home first. Before running off,we casted one last glance back at the carcass. It started raining. We saw that,the shadow of dragon carcass's head was not exactly that of a head. It was branded. It had a mark that looked like an eye. Suddenly the shadow solidified and became the shards of blue glass. When I picked up one of the shards,the land suddenly seemed like turning mushy. I felt my feet wobbling. Then,with fear as well as with respect for the dead beast, I threw away the glass shard at the horde and told him that I don't want whatever I don't need.

What happened next was even more disturbing and equally fascinating. I was at a hotel where I had never been before in my life. I saw there,a group of transgenders. I was wondering about the looks they get,when they come to public places. I was just staring at one(with black top and blue jeans) out of curiosity. Suddenly, she(or he?) started staring back at me. It was disturbing to see those sockets with eyeballs (were they bulging out?) looking back at you with an uncommon intensity, like I was an alien. There I was; transfixed and dazed. I closed my eyes with fear and was profusely sweating. The person staring at me arose; and started marching forward at me. When my eyes opened,the person was just a step or two away. Then: it happened.

"Wake up!!", I heard the voice coming out of that guy's mouth. But I hadn't believed a moment before it was a guy. That guy( person) then,pushed me back,while I was sitting rooted to my chair and I fell into a pool of water. My eyes suddenly opened and there he was; exhausted,exhilarated from the attempt of waking me up. As a last resort, my best friend and roommate had tried dousing me with water,like I was on fire. "Jackass! We're already late. If you keep dreaming,even after you wake up,I'm gonna kick your shin"- said Samar. I was back to reality, finally.

The Woman

Painting by: Amrata Raykar

Words wouldn't do justice,
To that gentle flower of Eden.
That woman;my life's apex.
She eclipses in my eyes,
And predominates whole of her sex.

I dream of her everyday.
She's a wisp of fragrance;
So close,but yet unreachable.
Ethereal and divine is her being.
That beautiful painting She is.

That voice;like the ringing of China bells.
Harmonious as music.
Like the notes of guitar,
When it's strummed gently;
As though its her back.
That peaceful sound hers is.

Her eyes;
A calm ocean of emotions.
A looking glass,filled with love.
Deadly sight for anyone;
Her eye's side look.

Those gentle caressing hands.
Caring the most and at times,
Ready to carry the brand.
Her hands were leaves.

The embodiment of love and passion
My love, the elixir of my life.
Beautiful,silent like a moon light,
On a silvery winter night.

My hands tremble,
As I hold her tight in my arms.
The fear that she'll melt.

Painting by: Amrata Raykar

For my warmth,
For she's a gentle blossom.

My only prayer to thee:
Make her mine,forever.
For she deserve better.
The troubles she has undergone
Like winter before autumn.
Make me her sunshine,
Help me find my purpose of life,in her.
For only her is my light and warmth,
As well as my life.

Make me hers.
Make me hers.

The Departure

Source:Internet

She broke ;she left.
There was all grief ;than the rest.
The pain of departing ; memories of the jest.
Itched in mind, like, epitaph on the chest.

Words rolled back,
My voice failed me.
When I was about say those words,
It was them, who sewed thee

A hunger that no food can satisfy.
A thirst that seems unending, till I die.
I really wanna die.
Once and for all.
To end this agony
Who knows?
May be,I'll find peace in my death ; not after it.
Afterall, everyone deserves some calmness in theirs live.

I don't wanna die a heroes death.
I know I don't deserve it.

Source:Internet

I didn't rise from the ashes of many;
Neither did I help the ones fallen in pit.

I'm but a poor guy,
Who has just has an old shirt to wear!
I write poetry in my spare time
Which are not so good, except times rare.

You said,you'll be with me; till the end of the line.
But, you couldn't even wait to breakup,
Let alone finish my line.

This is for you, my dear love.
Only you get to hear this
I'm going to the place unknown,before you,
So that you wont get a chance atleast here, to hiss.

I'll live happily!
I'm strong.
But, I know,from inside
That I'm already gone.

You'll get to see that laugh on my face
When I'll die.
Its not your crazy love that made me do so,
But the pyre of love,I had in mine.

Goodbye my love.
For now or may be forever!
I'll meet you again on that field.
Where there's no evil or good .
And the only thing you'll do is revere me, forever.

Till then,I bid you adieu.

Two Extremes

Gazing out of the window, I wonder often.

Gazing out of the window
I wonder often.
How does it feel to be on the other side?
Being at the bottom and being the capstone.

When I'm at the bottom:
I plan to go up, one day.And stare at the world below, from the top.
But, then I come to my senses and realize I'm still the one who plans to go up.

Does it hurt more to crane your neck and look up?
Or does it ache much, .when you look down upon your ghosts of the past?

When given a chance,
Where would you like to be?
At the top, where only a few eagles perch?
Or at the bottom, where their preys lay?
which one would you like to be?

All I know is,

I've questioned in my mind.

Questions which possess no answers.

Questions about everything.

A life shaped by questions

Changed by the answers

We seek answers often

And stumble upon more questions.

Is our life just that: questions and more questions?

Given a chance:

Which one would you be?

A  question, conundrum or

An answer, a solution?

                                                                                 

Another question, to an already unanswered heap of questions!

Now, I wonder, why I wonder about these!

And, comes an answer from within:"Wonder. Because that is how you seek wisdom!"

Snippet 1

Amidst the fair of emotions
On the waves of memories
Amid the chain of thoughts
While travelling:my heart resounds a single thing-
You... :-)